and any talk of selflessness leaves me running for the door?

each time I close my eyes, I see a group of friends sitting in the sun, their heads held high, eyes bright with hope that this friendship was going to be the one to prove everyone wrong.

then they find out that love is not a victory march- it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah.

there are moments when I feel like you are purposely leaving me alone, in a quiet solitude to think my life through and decide if what I've done was a mistake or a deed to be proud of. sometimes I don't know and you can't blame me, you really can't. it's always going to be a balancing act. there will be days when I am not on the right side of this scale called Life. and you gotta be okay with that. because I am trying, so can't we all just try harder together?

that's what friends are suppose to do. they stick with you without really being there there. they remember you now and then, enough to forget that you've been a lousy companion on some of your bad days, and thank you for the times you put your ass on the line to save someone else.

well there was a time when you let me know what's really going on below- but now you never show that to me, do you.

do you?