living intensely.
I woke up today feeling a little bit more like myself. yesterday, if you gather all the good things together, was a very, very special day. yesterday was the first since the time we moved in to NTU, that nab and I played squash, had supper and went up the Arts, Design and Media (ADM) building to roll on the carpet grass, coming home at about 2am all wet from the grass dew, exhilirated, and madly, madly high.
it all started with Jinli suddenly plopping into the seat next to me during our CS101 lecture, saying 'eh wanna go play squash or not.' without asking why and whether she even has the equipment to play squash, I said ok. and invited nab. AND IT WAS CRAZY. obviously I've only played the sport a few times during first three months, and I had zero skills to begin with, so there is no point saying I got better during the game cos there was nothing to compare with. no point I tell you, no point. we played for about 2 hours, then somehow while the girls were playing and I was talking to Rizan, they called my name and said eh wanna go Jalan Bahar eat prata? I asked you mean now? and Jinli being Jinli said nolah not now next week of course now lah!
so we went searching for this mysterious foodcourt near Jalan Bahar, which I personally thought was far but the walks to and from it wasn't so bad because of the great company. we had alot of food, laughing and talking like we were old friends. I was still perspiring from squash which is so gross, but hey it's 10pm and no one cares.
seriously I didn't think my Wednesday night would end like this. I had no idea how badly I needed time and space (basically a continuum, ho ho I am hilarious in the mornings) til I came back to our room all tired yet happy. I actually felt happy.
it was a different kind of happy. it's not the getting good grades sort of happiness, neither it is the getting a new pair of shoes type of feeling. my happiness was measured by the long walks with my new friends, looking scrappy, feeling fearless, sitting on the carpet grass rooftop of ADM talking about anything, then proceeding on to lying on the grass, saying 'oh this is why they increased our school fees' and rolled down the steep slopes not knowing when you were going to stop, when you were gonna start thinking that you want to stop, because I swear I've never felt so free in my whole life. the carpet grass was starting to make me terribly itchy, and my entire body was wet from my perspiration (still!) and the dew. but I rolled down the slope again. when we first went up the slope we didn't take the stairs- I just recall feeling really excited and ran ahead of my friends, shouting THERE'S A RAINBOW ON THE OTHER SIDE!!!
man I am lame when I'm high. I remember a whole lot of cackling, a whole lot of spontaneity last night. I told the girls this is going into my blog, and I could go on and on about this if I have to. life in NTU, when you know the right and best people, will never disappoint you.