please don't go crazy if I tell you the truth.

I don't ask for much from Life to be happy. I am the sort who prefers plastic flowers to real ones, so of course I am as simple as hell. a friend said a few days ago that I don't seem to be the sort who will accept anything superficial. my best friend says I have 'weird principles.' someone asked me what I thought about slimming pills, and as frank as I could I told her I didn't understand them.

I realise I still am unsure about the different types of person I am around different people. maybe you could see it as a way of trying to fit in. I suppose sometimes I find it easier to blend in than stand out and be quirky, or exremely funny or really really loud. it's hard to survive being different here- you have to work hard in trying to convince people that hey I'm not apologetic for being like this or that. maybe the problem with me is that I'd rather just take a backseat on some days, because to have to explain myself when I want to be my own person is difficult. who the hell would want to waste time trying to comprehend a girl who loves animals but will never be a vegetarian, who struggles with her religious beliefs, who sometimes has no idea what the hell she is talking about, and isn't even aware that she is, in fact, rambling?

I need to have an opinion on everything. it's my way of forming my own space in this world, because to me when I'm making opinions I'm actually trying to make sense out of my life. there you go, another way of feeling snug and secure about myself. I think it's interesting how insecure people are confident about how insecure they are. sometimes I have no qualms about telling people my insecurities, even to the extent of admitting them with total. pride. I suppose there is strength in everything we do, even if it's something as pathetic as declaring how weak you are.

wait, hold on. it's never pathetic to be honest about something, so I take that back.

for now, I'm just gonna concentrate on eating my durian ice-cream Dad bought for me WHICH I don't really like but for the sake of Love I will try as I might to plaster a permanent enthusiasic look on my face while licking the damn thing.