unlike you, unlike you.
from the moment I stepped into the building I knew CS is very different from other schools in NTU. the kids here, they're extremely intimidating. there will always be someone speaking up in class, someone correcting someone else, disagreeing with someone else. it's like attending a lecture with mini journalists and politicians and professors, where you're the only one who seems to be remotely teen-like.
just now after school I had a nice talk with my friends, and I kinda confessed I've been facing alot of apprehension speaking up in class. I know it sounds abit petty and somewhat redundant, but I really do feel that way. SCI is great because of the courses and the lecturers, but when it comes to its students I haven't quite grasped the culture of being very open and fearless during lessons. I hope my confidence comes by soon because I hate sitting down wanting to say something, and having someone else say it for me instead, in a much better way than I would have.
nowadays I feel like a really tiny fish in an incredibly vast ocean. sure, there are opportunities everywhere you look. whether you get them is a completely different matter.
it's a problem, in my case.
but still, I'm not giving up hope at all. I love attending tutorials and the bunch I've been hanging out with are really interesting and quirky. they remind me of my girls, which can be sad and familiar at the same time. I really, really want to make something great out of these next four years. there shouldn't be any space left for hesitations and regrets. perhaps I could start at Homecoming tomorrow. I heard the rooftop lets you forget how frightened you are of strangers.
