mad people are much better at letting go.
I know this seems strange but sometimes I feel like I'm experiencing brief moments of epiphany, where I'm living in my head and ideas have never seemed more...tangible. I can piece so many of them together, and my mind gets pregnant with random words which quickly go as they come, but when I'm fast enough I can form these little concepts. however instead of liberating me, enlightening me, they suddenly become my mental fetters. I am dragging them around every day, I do not quite understand how they're supposed to help me get through with life. sometimes during these moments, I think I have gone mad. yet in a weird way I am rather comforted by these experiences, because these are the times when I feel most unihibitedly alive.
am I making sense? we all know I'm not much of a talker but if I can't bring a point across through writing as well, then I must be doomed for eternity. I wonder why I can worry so much about what some people think of me, when I was never meant to be one who does. no matter how aloof I am, I will always be capable of fiercely justifying the ways in which I CAN be funny, I CAN relax, and I CAN let go.
do you know it's very easy to tell the state of a person's mind? all you have to do is read her words. therefore it's not hard for me to conclude that tonight I am pensive, reluctant, and heavily despondent. this is how some things never change.
and if I am wrong in this, or anything else, I am happy to be wrong. I don't want to give up my errors for as long as I live.