confessions of the OTHER bloody fool.
2 scholarships. completely different job scopes. both are desired, nonetheless. I have to decide by this Friday and it's been 5 days after knowing my results. well guess what I haven't made much progress, all because I'm one indecisive control freak who (ironically) cannot keep it together long enough to decide between 3 fucking choices.
am I confident enough to say I want to try out for Law? yes. though I'm not sure if I'll breeze through the interview and writing test. see the problem is I'm positive there are others out there, from better schools and better backgrounds, who have dedicated their entire
lives to becoming a lawyer. they know what they want and they get it because they're good. there are some teenagers who are biologically engineered for law school. they speak and write well, they're confident and they're bloody smart.
me? I'm just good
enough. a person who has had no idea she'd do this well, and thinks hey I could give it a
try, never mind that I haven't done anything law-like for the last 18 years of my life. I'm not sure if I'm jinxing my chances by saying it out loud, but I suppose if I'm good I'll get selected. and if I'm not, by then I should've realised I'm not cut out for law. the idea is to try. I'm geeky and I know I'm not very cool, but I work hard at almost everything and I deserve this chance as much as anyone else, right girls?
...girls?
for once in many months, I'm deep in thought. application closes at the end of the month. and after looking at the forms I just feel like remaining contemplative and signing up at the last minute.