that I would be loved, even when I'm numb myself.

I received a rather pleasant phonecall in the afternoon today. Mum just barged into the room and shouted someone was looking for me. I was asleep, I mean what else is there to do? so I picked up the phone, feeling all irritated that people would call at such an inconvenient time, and then I hear a woman's voice asking for a 'Fazira.' she said she wanted to ask me about a resume I sent to a certain primary school a few weeks ago. turns out she works as a clerk there and was wondering if I could tutor her own two sons, so after getting my resume she decided to give me a call. I thought that was nice. I mean, mothers don't usually have a great first impression of me. so when she asked if I was interested, not failing to inform me that she couldn't afford a high rate, I felt like I had to take up the offer.

I talked about it with my mum first though. at first I was unsure because 1 I cannot be with kids for more than an hr or I'll just explode. and 2 I've never taught before. save for the community work I've done, I don't really have alot of experience with children. I think they're ghastly! and strange little beings. humans should be born 13 years old. so you can skip all that screeching and tugging of hair and eating of mud. but then again, I know of some adults who still do all that. which wasn't that important to say really. my point is I guess I didn't have that much faith in myself because I doubt I can do a good job.

but that new phase I was talking about really came in handy. I'm going through this stage where I'm willing to try anything you see, so tutoring just seems like a wonderful experience, especially for the new year. plus Mum says I'd get pahala (PAHALA mind you. she likes to say that alot) if I help those who are less fortunate, or just somebody else. I mean, I knew that. I just didn't realise an opportunity like this would come so fast.

Mum: I know how she feels. it's not easy being responsible for a child's education, you know. I really feel for that woman. you shouldn't charge so high ok.

suddenly Dad enters my room and squats next to Mum, asking what was going on. so she tells him and they're both just..squatting there talking in low voices (like we couldn't hear) and Sis and I were just itching to laugh out really loud. so then Dad clears his throat and says it'd be good if I could help in some way. which just made things easier to deal with cos I was already deciding on tutoring the boys.

so I'll be starting next week. and they're gonna be my responsibility, maybe for the next year or longer. I really, really want this to turn out well because they sound like a nice family and I just want to be a good somebody, you know? so yeah wish me luck. =]