from the picture my mind drew

I feel sick. because it's November. correction- it's already November and I'm still clueless about my life and everything else in it. think about it; first entry of the month and I'm already lamenting over my dark, unpromising future. it is bleak and cold but one way or another I'm going to have to deal with it.

my uterus tells me this won't be a splendid week.

let's reflect on how October came and went [like how Hari Raya will be because I'll be having the biggest guilt-trip of 2005 by pretending to be thrilled to see relatives who don't even know I'm my mother's daughter when all I'll probably want to do is find a corner, put on Harry's invisibility cloak and mug.] so where was I?

right. in October I graduated. got back my Prelim results. discovered the deepest, darkest secret ever created by anyone in the entire world. fell apart. got the funniest crap prankcall by friends who thought I needed a cheerer-upper. met Hot Writer [getting bored of him actually] and met the most unlikely person you'd find on a Sunday morning at the interchange- my exboyfriend.

I'd say all is well right now. don't worry about the first paragraph of this entry I like to be melodramatic now and then...makes me feel more real. sometimes I wish I didn't take some matters lightly and learned to deal with them in a more calm, mature and rational way. between you and me, I'm not much of a writer. I try to sound engaging but I gave up on that because you shouldn't have to try to be good- it's supposed to come naturally. but that's okay! cos I figured I still have my wit and sense of humour [now don't go about disagreeing this is all I have left *wags finger*] so I have something awesome to fall back on. you know, someone's gotta love me, why can't it be myself?

and I'll abruptly end things here.