testing 1, 2, 3

I need to revamp my handwriting- fast. I think the wake-up call was when some marker scribbled on my essay something like 'I can't decipher!' and 'really BAD handwriting' and 'Cambridge will penalize you severely for illegible handwriting. up to 2 marks can be deducted! we were told this by the chief Cambridge examiner!' [seems like I've developed a friendship with the marker, oh hehe haha]

so I've definitely learnt it the hard way. I mean what kind of a stupid excuse is this- I did badly for the As because I write like a girl with gloves on her hands. but it's really hard to control sometimes, because during an exam I'm forced to think fast so my hand needs to move just as quickly to catch up with my quick thoughts, because there's a possibility I might forget what I'd just thought about, which could've been an excellent point, you know what I mean??

and my results are frustrating me. throughout this entire year, I've been constant. I see this as a bad thing, because it's about time I show some improvements. you can't go anywhere with Cs and Ds. and I wish she hadn't singled some of us out by saying we've got potential- what's the use of potential if you have no idea how to use it? I, for one, have no clue on how to improve. and You have to stop telling me cliches like try harder or do your best, because at this point these words don't mean anything anymore. I appreciate it though, so why don't You try harder in cheering me up.

but at least I know I want this badly. having a drive has to help in some way, right? and I'm so ready to go all out and chiong like hell lah! I'm sure my friends know I get crazy during examinations, and I apologise if it gets pressurising or irritating at times. I'm just thisclose to getting what I want. and you girls really help keep me sane during my lousy days.

GROUP HUUUUG!