I think I was unsure about the person I was with you. and I'm certain about the person I've become because of you. I can finally say I'm able to look back on all those wasted years and say something good came out of it. because I'm here, you're there, and everything else is where it should've been, right from the beginning. no more living my life only in my head, because they don't last long up there. I think about you and I no longer associate our past with malice or hatred. I've forgotten if I ever did apologise for reacting the way I had, so if you happen to read this someday because of anyone out there who hates me and does the favour of informing you about my blog, then you'd be able to know that I'm sorry. you can do whatever you want with my apology, maybe hang it up your wall and show it to future girlfriends, have a little get-together with your hippie friends and laugh about it. I must say I don't really care anymore.

I'm so glad I'm able to forget about you. the last five years were hellish. me being childish and believing you were the best I could ever have; what was I thinking? some say I'm now a sorry person who doesn't believe in Life anymore, but you know you heard it first from me- I'm now the happiest I've ever been. as long as I'm okay, my family's okay, my friends are okay, and I still have a chance of getting what I want, I will continue holding my head up high. as high as I can. I'm here because of what I've done, not what you or anyone else did. I take full responsibilty of my own life; no more blaming you or the weather or other kinds of external forces that I'm not even sure exist. I am my own person, and you will not break me again.

so. to anyone who thinks he can make me feel complete and happy:

don't bother. I've done it myself.