I'm proposing a swift orderly change.

it's true. I do talk alot. and get caught up in the conversation. I mean I've never seen myself as a people-person. but I do like saying things when I'm around those I'm comfortable with. I don't see anything bad about that. but just to be sure, do tell me to stop when you think it's turning into a one-sided conversation. I don't like losing control of myself, and blabber on while you sit there amused, thinking about how....cute I am.

just a suggestion.

I realise I'm quite rusty at the art of being nice. sometimes I try, but most of it I just can't be bothered and simply hope you wouldn't be offended. like here's an example-

guy: erm....hi there
me: why so scared. I'm not gonna eat you up you know





so my point is, I'd like to apologise in advance, just in case my smart mouth decides to have a go again.

perhaps this is proof that I'm not in the best condition to be involved with anyone. I think courting is unncessary. and even if it wasn't, I'd like it to be brief and perfunctory as possible. the lesser feelings involved, the less messy it'll be. then we won't have to deal with your redundant emotional baggage, if you dare to admit you have one.

I don't like being emotionally dependent on others. suppose I do meet someone, and he's completely flawed in every way that I don't want him to be. yet I decide I love him. and once I start rationalizing those red flags that'd be the end of me. I'd like to say I would fight for you but come on who am I kidding. and I've probably already lost all sight on what love really is so you shouldn't be taking me seriously.

I think. men are a necessary evil. we need them and maybe even want them, but it doesn't always make them good for us. for a moment I wanted to draw a parallel between men and candy but the latter seems waaaayyy more desirable right now.