taking it easy.

after work today I hung around the office for awhile to talk to Mike. he's been nice, always looking out for me and giving food. I liken sitting in our respective cubicles to being in little corporate cages, nicely disguised with family pictures, post-its and stacks of paper just so it'll seem more inviting. think that's the only part I don't agree when it comes to working there. I've been trying to make myself feel at home, sitting cross-legged all day, leaving behind a part of me whenever I can after work, like my water bottle, a pen, my umbrella. it's just so I could come back again the next day, look at my desk and feel like I belong there.

sometimes it's pathetic to talk about work this way isn't it?

like almost every night, I come home to have dinner with my family. actually now that we're all grown up I only get to eat with my parents. I've been looking forward to coming home more often these days, not sure why. as much as I like working, the idea of being able to go some place else after all of that, where I am a child again and my mother is making tea for me, while Dad fusses over my hair, makes home very easy to love. today over dinner we talked about Mum's medical check-up, and my father was telling me how it'll always seem better to be schooling. I tell him the grass only looks greener on the other side, cos when I think about it I had problems when I was in school; it wasn't exactly a walk in the park. with work you have more responsibilities, sure, but you're old enough to handle them. so if you exclude some hiccups along the way, school and work carry the same weight. they just have a difference in time.

my tuition kids have been calling me almost every night nowadays. sometimes it's to ask about homework, other times it's just to talk. kids love to talk on the phone I realise. they pass it around and say one word or two, then giggle, then their mother screams at them, and they talk abit more. I love hearing from those two- it's amazing how they perk me up so much after work. I really hope I'll get to tutor them til the end of the year, cos it'd be a nice change to care about other people for once, instead of being the ego-centric person I was last year. for the record, I picked a lousy time to be arrogant.

I think I've mellowed down alot recently. I know a part of me hates this old prude I've turned into, but this all happened in good timing. I used to be afraid of This, unsure of That, weary of Them. I'm so thankful for the pleasant start to the year.

okay so now not only am I a prude, I'm an emotional fart too. family drama coming from my neighbours so gotta end here cos Mum and I are busybodies. am tired but feeling accomplished as well.

love you all.